In my last post I introduced The Cheerful Times‘ new feature, the How to Be Happy series. I would like to kick off this new addition with a somewhat heavier first tip that holds a lot of importance to me personally: throw out the bad apples.
We meet a lot of people in life. Some of them are insanely wonderful, some of them are downright unpleasant. Some of them start out being insanely wonderful and then turn out to be downright unpleasant. And some, of course, just straight out suck. With all the good people we have in our lives, why is it that we continue to hold on to (and often give priority to) those who make us feel a certain incompleteness?
I struggled with this for a long time. Throughout high school and a few years after, I put so much energy into trying to get the attention of people who did not really care to give it. Trying to gain solid friendships that I knew I could count on, from people who could not be counted on. Back in high school, others had always told me that I was one of the nicest, sweetest people they knew. This made me even more confused as to why I was consistently excluded from plans or ignored when someone with more social drama came into the picture.
But this post isn’t supposed to be about me. And my life isn’t supposed to be about them, or pitying myself for people who don’t give me the time of day when plenty of others do. How can anyone be happy when they’re stuck in a cycle of wallowing instead of making a change? Why put all your effort into trying to please people who never did anything to deserve it, while ignoring the feelings of someone who has? Psst… that’s you!
Figure out who is worth staying in touch with. Identify those who love you as much as you love them. Find who cares and return the favor. Forget those who don’t follow suit. Throw out the bad apples. They had their chance, blew it, and they don’t deserve you.
This also goes for people who hold back your happiness in other ways, such as consistent negativity and catty behavior. Poor attitudes definitely have a way of eating at you.
You’ll be surprised by how freeing it is to finally cut the weight and worry loose, and how much more, dare I say, cheerful your outlook will be! You will feel restored with the new energy you have to dedicate toward other more productive and joyous life endeavors.
Let me know what your experiences have been with throwing out the bad apples, and what suggestions or tips you have that others can draw from.
I hope you have all been surviving okay with this not-so-spring-y spring! I don’t know about you, but I’ve been ready to break out my sundresses for the past, well, season. Brrr!
Enjoy your day,
8 thoughts on “How to Be Happy: Throw Out the Bad Apples”
Hi Kelsey! It is so nice to meet you! I read your previous posts and I really like your messages, and this post here couldn’t come at a more perfect time. There are bad apples all over the place, so true and like you said they can really bring you down. Thanks for the message above, I have a really big family issue with a sibling that I am in need of “taking care of”. This was what I needed to hear! Keep the blog going, it’s great!
Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words about my blog, it really means a lot! I’m so glad my learned insight about the bad apples in our lives has impacted you positively. I was hoping it would help people! It was something I definitely needed to tell myself. Good luck with the family matters concerning your sibling! 🙂
“This also goes for people who hold back your happiness in other ways, such as consistent negativity and catty behavior. Poor attitudes definitely have a way of eating at you.”
There has been research on this in the field of positive psychology! In fact, if a person in close proximity to you is happy, you are 15% more likely to be happy. The chain continues as someone near you would then be 10% more likely to be happy and a person near them is 6% more likely to be happy. It’s also significant that same sex relationships have a higher impact on your happiness and positive emotions than opposite sex relationships, so pay close attention to your female apples in particular 🙂
Alex! I’m glad not only that you’re learning something from your Positive Psychology seminar, but also that what I am saying has real scientific backing! Those are actually really interesting figures and I can definitely see how they are accurate. Thanks for sharing! 🙂 Start your blog!!!
This is a really good post. As Dr. Seuss said I believe, “Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.” 🙂
Thanks so much! I appreciate it. 🙂 Yes! I’ve always loved that quote but didn’t realize I could actually apply it in my life until the last year or so. It’s a good one!
That is so true. Have thrown out a few bad apples in my time and the relief was gargantuan. I’m really enjoying your writing. Keep the series going. 🙂
Thanks so much, I really appreciate it! I’m so glad you’re enjoying my blog. I definitely want to continue the series because I enjoyed writing the first few posts a ton. Feel free to leave any suggestions you have for a happy life, and thank you again for your feedback!